To whom it may concern

I vaguely recall the last time I had been ungentlemanly in life. Perhaps, it was six years ago when on a cold winter morning in Shillong, I woke up in the din of a neighbour screaming at my mother. I let my reasoning power take a backseat and jumped out of my bed, dashed for the door and took my high-decibel neighbour head on. I retorted every argument of hers with such passion that I think only a teenager could generate.
But when the dust settled and I sat for breakfast with mom, I soon learnt the fallacy in my behaviour as she began doling out some of the most valuable lessons of life she has ever given me.
“The first trait of being a gentleman,” she said, “is to be polite when you speak to a woman.”
I argued saying, “It was she who picked the fight with me, and I only reacted.”
And while the 17-year-old in me was feeling upbeat about being the man who stood firm for his ill mother, expecting commendations for my actions, she seized the moment: “You should have behaved yourself. Being a gentleman is a good quality,” she said, “but maintaining the poise in adversity makes it a virtue.”

And as I lived on, I gradually learnt that being a gentleman is not only restricted to opening the door when a woman walks in or taking the seat at a coffee house only after she is seated or even better “maam”ing before every sentence to make her feel respected.
I guess all these attributes can be categorised as to what my mother calls as “good quality” traits that can be mimicked and adopted as per choice and convenience. The “virtue” aspect, however, is the more crucial one. And while I thought that maintaining an almost impeccable conduct with ladies over the last half-a-decade made me the heir to being a “virtuous gentleman”, I only learnt this morning that I was as far from truth, as possibly a posthumous child is from his parents.

Yes there was no neighbour today screaming down my ears, nor was there an attack on my mother’s integrity. Today was different! There was sarcasm and there was sharp sarcasm. Yes, it almost cut me into half to hear me being of the “MTV level”, it passed a chill down the spine to hear that “I don’t take rejection too well”; and it also got me fuming to hear that “I am the proof of self obsession”. So much for a morning start!

I don’t intend to be judgmental here, for I needn’t clarify to anybody as to how much of the above commendations define the real me.
What I am disappointed about is that I retorted when I should have parried the verbal volleys! What I am most hurt about is that I got down to making petty remarks against someone calling her “narrow-minded” and having a “villager’s mindset”. True that I was provoked, true that I didn’t know the reason that got her so angry, but none of the obscurities justifies my most “ungentlemanly” behaviour.
And it’s not strange that when I spoke to mother about today’s incident, she reminded me of the same “neighbour’s episode”, to drive home the point that it is in moments of adversity that a man’s character is truly tested. I failed the test miserably today.
And so “To whom it may concern”, I apologise with all my humility in place. I am sorry! Apologies are due for Muttu too for not being the brother she once took pride in, and the same Sorry goes for another lady for reasons any and many.
Before I sign off, I must admit: The 1st of April 2010 has been one of the most painful days I have had in a long long time. I assure not to put myself or anybody through the same trauma ever again!

Hoping to write on a better note next time.